Things Nobody Warned Me About

Right now, there is 1.

1. No one told me that being a mom would entail so much beating. I'm not talking about spankings. I'm talking about a 14 month old who runs rampant in the house beating up his beloved mommy. I give you exhibit A. John Dickson and I are having a GREAT day, which happened to be the first day I was off work, and I decided to stop by the library to rent JD a Baby Einstein DVD. (Aside from one or two, Ive decided that these DVDs are terrible. So has John Dickson, as you will soon see). I take little dude home, set his chair up in front of the tv, and hit play. I'm sitting right next to him, looking through a cookbook for something to make for dinner, when I am pelted in the head with not one, but TWO remotes. I sure hope he starts talking soon, because a better way to tell me the DVD is horrible would be GREAT! Other than that, I have had a bookcase pulled down on me (as previously mentioned), have been bitten repeatedly (especially on the eyebrows... a great place to latch on, apparently), have been clawed around the legs, and have had other random objects thrown at me on a daily basis. And no one even bothered to warn me. For shame...

Despite the beatings, this has been a week for the books for me and John Dickson. It has just been an ordinary week, but John Dickson has been in a fantastic mood and his little personality is really starting to shine. On Monday we went to the botanical gardens to feed the ducks. John Dickson actually threw little pieces of bread to the ducks, and was enamored when they would eat. However, our trip got cut short when we rolled over a yellow jacket nest (I took one for the team in the side... John Dickson escaped unscathed, thankfully). If you know me, you know I am nothing if not terrified of flying bugs. Stinger, no stinger, they all STINK! So of course I took off running, John Dickson and stroller in tow. By then, we were so far off the straw path, I didn't think I was ever going to get the stroller back up the hill, especially in flip flops. I'm not kidding... I was yanking, pulling and sliding, and it just wasn't happening. It was one of those utterly helpless moments when you just want to sit down and cry, because it seems it may be the only option, and I was thiiiiiis close to doing just that. I had to yank the stoller backwards up the hill, giving John Dickson whiplash all the way, and grab onto somewhat flimsy bushes to help hoist us up the hill. When we finally got to the top, I turned around to see John Dickson's shoe. At the bottom of the hill. In the water. If it wasn't for a sweet little boy running around, there would be a duck out there sporting a really cute brown flip flop. I'll just say that.

Then again on Friday, we went to Reedy River Park in downtown Greenville to see the waterfall. I actually did not realize there was a whole other section of the park that had more ducks and a little sprinkler area you could run through. John Dickson had a dove walk right up to him and he had a flock of geese who thought he had come armed with food. I tried to take pictures, but I was too busy trying to keep John Dickson from falling in the water to get any good ones. Which brings me to my next topic.

If I had to sum my duties as a parent, they would go something like this... (loving on him is a given)

0-3 months: Keeping John Dickson fed, changed, and rested. Mostly fed.

3-6 months: Keeping John Dickson in motion, at all times.

6-12 months: Entertaining John Dickson.

12-14 months: Keeping John Dickson ALIVE.

I kid you not, it is a FULL TIME JOB. We run around from 7am-7pm making sure that little man is safe. He is into EVERYTHING. We have tried 2 different baby locks for the cabinets, and John Dickson literally laughs at them, pulls them off, and hands us the 409. He is doing cartwheels off of the couch, trying to stand up in his glider, is climbing into his high chair, etc. etc. etc. When I try to pull something out of the oven, I have to take John Dickson to the farthest point in the house, and then run back as fast as I can. I have about a 15 second window. He is FAST now. I was trying to make dinner the other night when I turned around and saw John Dickson standing in his high chair. Just standing there. "Look mom, no hands!" Big, big grin. As soon as my heart started beating again, I ran over and snatched him up. If you don't have kids, you aren't allowed to judge. Just wait, you'll see...

Every stage brings its own new challenges and leaves behind some of the old, but the rewards just grow exponentially. We have a little boy who loves to give hugs and big slobbery open mouth kisses. Night time is THE BEST. Around 7:00 John Dickson starts having pit fits, and literally races around the house laughing and squealing. He will stop to throw a toy and then he's off again. Then he sits still in your lap to read books before bed, and then it is the best time of the entire day. When it is my turn to put him to bed, John Dickson sits in my lap and we just... enjoy each other. He love loves it when you gnaw on his feet, and as that is immediately post-bath time, its the only time of the day it happens anymore :-) He will sit in my lap and actually put his feet up to my mouth. I'll make silly faces at him and he just laughs. This goes on for a while. He is just so still and content. It is just precious. And then we get a good 10 minutes or so of super cute sounds coming from the nursery before he finally drifts off to sleep. And he is getting smart! He is really starting to follow instructions really well, and surprises us everyday with things he seems to understand. For example: I gave John Dickson a piece of jerky to give to Bear, and he started to put it in his mouth. I said "no, no, give that to Bear", and he walked over and literally put it in Bear's mouth. And he loves to close things now... Doors, car doors, the dishwasher, the dryer, drawers, etc. It actually comes in handy!

And if you back up a week, John Dickson had a visit from his Granna and Papa while I was in Raleigh. They went to the zoo, had pictures made, and John Dickson had his very first ice cream - banana! I think this pictures sums it up nicely.

Until next time...